top of page
Any relationship between two people – whether in business, love, or any other domain – will become better, stronger, more productive, and more fulfilling, if both of the two people in it are willing, able, ready, and mature enough, to realize that in order for it to keep growing and improving, they both need to accept, understand, and commit themselves to an awareness that, for as long as they remain together, they have created a distinct THIRD entity, which is usually called "we" or "us".
When I began dating the woman who became my wife, our relationship changed – for the better, by a HUGE margin – when I began consciously thinking of "us" as an integral, essential part of our relationship.
When that happened, I began thinking in terms of, "I don't want to hurt, betray, or jeopardize the `us' part of what we have. Just as I don't want to hurt or betray her. If I want something, fine. That is entirely legitimate, and I have every right to ponder it, contemplate it, and try to reach some decision about it. But, if I cannot have it without hurting and damaging the `us' part of what she and I have built so far (and hope to continue to build), then that is a huge warning sign. It's not about having a tug-of-war, between what SHE wants, versus what I want. Instead, it's about protecting, and respecting, and wanting to grow and nurture and help and find happiness in, the US part of our relationship." It's not me against her; instead, this is the way for me to learn and understand how to become a "team player" – a crucial and essential part of something larger, better, stronger, and happier, than just me, alone. I don't want to have just a 'connection' with someone. Instead, I want to help build, and become part of, and be a trusted and valued member of, something better, larger, and stronger than I can ever have, or be, on my own, by myself."
I don't know how to explain that concept, any better than that. You will either understand it, or not.
bottom of page